How I Stay Human When the Title Wants More Than i Can Give

The Monday Practice That Helps Me Lead Without Losing Myself

Leadership will always ask for more.

More time. More energy. More steadiness. More clarity when you don’t have answers. More optimism when you're privately exhausted. More of you—even when you’re not sure how much is left to give.

I used to start Mondays in full armor. Suit up. Show up. Smile tight. Eyes sharp. Ready to solve, to carry, to lead.

But over time, I realized something:

If I kept showing up like that—without pause, without reflection, without returning to who I actually was underneath the role—I’d eventually become a version of me I wouldn’t recognize.

So,I built a rhythm. A small, intentional, sacred one that changed everything.

Before the scroll. Before the Team pings. Before the calendar starts bossing you around like a hungry toddler…

I get up early every Monday—on purpose.

Not because I’m Type A (okay, maybe a little), but because I’ve learned something over years of leading teams, carrying weight, and trying not to lose myself in the noise:

If I don’t lead myself first, I can’t lead anyone else well.

So, I built a rhythm. Fifteen minutes. That’s it. A practice that helps me stay human before I become “the leader” again.

Here’s what it looks like:

1. I Write 5 Handwritten Cards

Not emails. Not sticky notes. Real cards. With pens and stamps and all. (I may need to rethink this if USPS goes up in price again. LOL)

Why?

Because when the world is digital and fast, handwritten gratitude slows you down and lifts others up. It forces presence. It invites reflection. And let’s be honest—nobody forgets getting a real card in the mail. I thank someone who helped me, challenged me, supported me, or simply showed up in their lane with excellence. And in writing those thank-yous, something unlocks in me too.

2. I Send 5 Quick Texts

Just little nudges: “Thinking of you.” “You crushed that last week.” “Grateful to have you in my world.”

These aren’t elaborate. They’re simple connection points that cost me almost nothing and often mean everything to the person receiving them. Also? They center me back in the bigger picture. Leadership isn’t about tasks. It’s about people. By now you may realize that I believe PEOPLE MATTER.

3. I Plan 5 Calls or Check-ins

These aren’t performance reviews or status updates.

They’re relationship calls. “How’s your head? How’s your heart?"(this is a secret weapon” Most people are ready to answer, “How are you?” on autopilot. But “How’s your heart?” makes them pause, reflect, and offer something real.) All calls might not all happen on Monday—but I schedule them on Monday. That’s the key.

This step helps me stay intentional about the humans behind the hustle.

Why I Do This Every Week

Because I’ve lived the kind of leadership that runs on fumes. The calendar full but the connection low. The meetings productive but the mission blurry. The goals met but the people distant.

That kind of leadership might check boxes—but it doesn’t change lives. And it sure as hell doesn’t sustain you.

This Monday ritual helps me stay anchored. It’s not about looking good—it’s about leading well. And leadership done well starts small.

The Power of a Centered Leader

When I start my week with intention instead of reaction…When I lead from clarity instead of chaos…When I remember that the human side of leadership is true leadership…

That’s when I lead at my best.

Not perfect. Not always polished. But present. Grateful. Clear-headed.

And that presence changes the tone of my week, my team, and—honestly—my own mental health.

A Challenge for You

Start with just one of the three this week. Write one card. Send one thoughtful text. Make one intentional call...And see what it unlocks for you.

You might be surprised at how much lighter, clearer, and stronger you feel—just from choosing to lead yourself first.

Reflection for the Damaged Leader: What would your team say you carry into the room on a Monday morning? Tension? Clarity? Gratitude?

You set the tone. So why not start with something that tunes you back into what actually matters?

Natalie’s Notes: Lead Yourself First

First, I love that Chris does this, I have been the recipient of such thoughtfulness and have seen first hand the impact it can have.

What I notice:

This rhythm isn’t about productivity theater. It’s about returning to yourself before the role swallows you. The cards, texts, and calls are really three ways of practicing one thing: connection with intention.

Why it works (in plain language):

Embodied Gratitude: Handwriting slows your nervous system and sharpens memory—what you thank, you tend to see more of.

Micro-Belonging: Short, sincere texts are low-effort but high-signal: “You matter here.”

Relational Calibration: Scheduling human conversations early sets the week’s emotional weather before meetings do.

If you can't commit to the above try this tiny version (10 minutes):

Write one card to the person you’ve been “meaning to thank.”

Send one text that names a specific win from last week.

Schedule one 15-minute “head & heart” check-in for midweek.

Language that opens people up:

Instead of “How are you?”

try:

“What felt heavy last week?”

“What would make this week easier?”

“Where do you need a win?”

“How’s your head? How’s your heart?”

Boundary that protects the practice:

Make it calendar-visible. Title it “Monday Centering (Non-negotiable).” If someone asks for that slot, reply: “I’m committed then—can we do 9:30?”

For leaders who feel behind:

You’re not behind—you’re uncentered. Centering creates the minutes you think you’re missing.

Team nudge (drop this in Google Chat/Slack/Teams Monday 10 a.m.):

“Quick pulse: head/heart/hope.

Head: what’s top of mind?

Heart: what feeling’s loudest?

Hope: one good thing we can create this week?”

— Natalie