I Took My Son to the Zoo

I took my son to the zoo two days after I lost my job.

That sentence holds the weight of an entire year of struggle, of trying to be everything at once. A dedicated leader, a present mother, a top performer, and someone who didn’t crumble under the relentless pressure. For years, I chased balance. And for years, balance felt like a mirage, just out of reach no matter how much I adjusted, sacrificed, or planned.

The truth is, too often, work won.

I missed firsts. I missed moments I will never get back. I chose responsibility over rest, answering emails during bath time, taking late-night flights instead of reading bedtime stories, justifying it all under the banner of success and providing for my family. Then suddenly, the job was gone. Just like that, the decision-making power that had dictated so much of my time was no longer mine to make. And yet, my son was still there, holding my hand at the zoo, blissfully unaware of the weight of my professional loss.

The Hard Truth About Work-Life Balance

My struggle with work-life balance plagued my entire career, long before I became a parent. We are told early on to hustle, demonstrate exceptional work ethic, and believe that if we work harder, more efficiently, and with the right attitude, success will follow. And for a while, it does. Until one day, maybe after a few promotions, you realize you've become a workaholic. Suddenly, the very dedication that fueled your career is seen as a problem. The company starts to worry: can you take the next step if you don’t know how to manage burnout? I was given this feedback early in my career by someone who genuinely cared, but instead of listening, I dismissed it as unimportant.

I was 25 when a senior leader I deeply admired invited me to lunch. She was in town for a conference and made time to see me. She had recently spoken with my supervisor about the possibility of me joining her team, at the time, my dream job. When she asked how I was doing, she wasn’t looking for a status update, but that’s exactly what I gave her: a rundown of projects, a declaration of my commitment, and a reassurance that I was grateful to be part of the team. She listened, sipped her tea, then set her cup down with calm precision.

"The only thing you need to hustle on," she said, "is learning how to find personal balance. I know your work is going well. I know you’re the best. I asked how YOU are doing. Honestly, Natalie, I don’t think you have anything outside of these walls that you’re connected to."

I didn’t get the dream job. And I didn’t fully absorb the lesson either—not until ten years later, returning from maternity leave, when I finally understood what she meant.

Work-life balance is something we love to talk about in leadership meetings, self-help books, and panel discussions. We toss around phrases like "set boundaries," "prioritize what matters," and "find a rhythm that works for you." But what we don’t always talk about is how damn hard that is in reality, especially when you love what you do. When your career isn’t just a paycheck but a purpose, a passion, an extension of who you are, how do you decide when to close the laptop and walk away? The purpose doesn’t stop when the clock hits 5 PM.

I don’t have a perfect answer, but I do have perspective. And sometimes, that’s enough to start.

What I’ve Learned About Finding Balance

1. Balance is Seasonal, Not Static

   Some seasons, your career demands more. Some seasons, your family does. Instead of chasing perfect balance every single day, I'm trying to embrace the ebb and flow. It’s not about having equal parts of everything at all times, it’s about making intentional choices based on the season you’re in. (However, when you are in spooky season, do NOT miss the school parade. The kiddo might be too little to remember if you were there, but you will always remember that you missed it.)

   
   

2. You Can Love Your Job and Still Need a Break

   Being passionate about your work doesn’t mean you have to be consumed by it. Loving what you do shouldn’t come at the cost of being present for the people you do it for. If the job is great but it’s stealing your peace, it’s okay to pause and reassess.

   
   

3. Presence Matters More Than Perfection

   My son won’t remember if I answered every email the second it came in. He will remember if I was there when he needed me. Being fully present, whether at work or at home, matters far more than checking every single box on an endless to-do list.

   
   

4. Boundaries Are Useless Without Discipline

   I used to say, "I’ll stop working by 5 PM." But what happened when a crisis hit at 5:45? Or an email needed my immediate attention? Boundaries are only as good as the discipline you have to enforce them. Now, I ask myself, "Is this truly urgent, or can it wait?" More often than not, it can wait.

   • Do you instinctively check your email the moment you unlock your phone? Try deleting the app on vacation, you’ll be shocked at how freeing it is. I did it once, expecting chaos, but nothing happened. My boss even supported it, and I was more present. PRO TIP: If quitting cold turkey feels impossible, set boundaries. When my husband and I were in Hawaii, we deleted our email apps but scheduled two 15-minute check-ins during the trip. We’d reinstall, check messages, then delete again. It gave us peace of mind without disrupting our time away. 

What Comes Next?

For the first time in a long time, I’m choosing to breathe. To be present. To not miss bedtime stories. The layoff was a plot twist I didn’t see coming, but it was the pause I never would have taken otherwise. Maybe the illusion of balance isn’t about having it all at once, rather it’s about knowing when to shift, when to lean in, and when to step back.

For anyone else struggling to find balance, you’re not alone. Maybe balance isn’t something we find. Maybe it’s something we create, one intentional choice at a time.

Chris's Comments:

In a not-so-distant past, this was me too. I see so much of my own story reflected here—the weight of my mistakes, the relentless drive to be great. The problem was, I didn’t only push myself; I pushed my team to be great with me. I modeled a huge lack of balance without even realizing it. I pushed and to be 100% honest, it was at times passive-aggressive. I thought I was leading by example, but in reality, I was teaching them that success required sacrifice at all costs. Looking back, I realize balance isn’t just a personal pursuit - it’s a culture we create, one choice, one boundary, one example at a time. So maybe you cannot find the strength to find balance for yourself, but maybe you can find it for your team?