Unveiling the Mask: The Truth About Leadership

Leadership is a multifaceted concept that often comes with a certain level of mystery and allure. Many people aspire to be leaders, drawn in by the promise of influence, power, and success. However, the truth about leadership is far more complex and nuanced than meets the eye.

In our quest to understand leadership, one must first acknowledge that being a leader is not all about glory and accolades. True leadership is about authenticity, vulnerability, and the willingness to confront one's own flaws and limitations. It is about embracing one's humanity and understanding that imperfection is not a sign of weakness, but rather a hallmark of strength. One common misconception about leadership is that leaders must always have all the answers and never show weakness. This notion often leads to the creation of a false persona - a mask that leaders wear to project an image of confidence and infallibility. However, this mask can be damaging not only to the leader themselves but also to those they lead. When leaders prioritize maintaining their mask of perfection, they distance themselves from their team members and create a culture of fear and distrust. Team members may feel hesitant to speak up, share their ideas, or admit their own mistakes for fear of retribution. This ultimately stifles creativity, innovation, and growth within the organization.

To be a truly effective leader, one must be willing to unveil the mask and embrace vulnerability. Leaders who are open about their own struggles and shortcomings create a culture of authenticity and trust within their teams. By showing this vulnerability, leaders demonstrate that it is okay to make mistakes, and that growth comes from learning and adapting. In the journey of leadership, it is essential to remember that true strength lies in authenticity, humility, and the courage to be imperfect or seemingly damaged. Leaders who embrace their humanity and allow themselves to be vulnerable create a more inclusive, innovative, and resilient organization.

A Vulnerable Moment: The voice I tried to bury, my mask unveiling

Last week, I read my children’s book to a handful of classrooms — something that should’ve made me proud. Instead, when I played back the recording, all I could hear was a voice I couldn’t stand.

Not strong.

Not deep.

Not even memorable.

Just... empty.

I muttered it out loud without thinking:"God, I hate my voice."

My mom, sitting next to me, barely blinked. She said quietly, "I remember when we worried if you’d ever speak at all, because of how deaf you were as a child."

And just like that, the floor dropped out from under me.

Here I was — hating the very thing that was once a miracle. Tearing down a piece of myself without even pausing to realize it was built from battles I don’t even remember fighting.

This is what damage does. It makes you forget how far you’ve already come. It makes you despise the things you once prayed for.

And its why leaders who hide behind a perfect mask will never find peace. You can only heal when you face the mirror without flinching — when you look your scars dead in the eye and say:

"You don’t own me anymore."

That’s what The Damaged Leader stands for.

The permission to show up messy.

The courage to speak with a voice you almost lost.

And the stubborn belief that even the broken parts still matter.

As we continue to explore the complexities of leadership, let us remember that the path to true leadership is not about hiding behind a mask of perfection, but rather about embracing our true selves and inspiring others to do the same. It is about understanding we are all Damaged Leaders, and using our experiences to lead more authentically because of it.

Natalie's Notes:

Years ago, I went to Chris for advice on how to support a team member who was struggling deeply with insecurity around their speech and pronunciation. This person was a top performer - talented, respected, driven - but this one internal battle was quietly crippling them. I couldn’t just tell them to ignore it, or that we hadn’t noticed. They noticed. They lived with it every day.

I remember sitting on Chris’ porch as the sun was setting behind us. He shared with me that he was unable to speak as a child and still struggles with the tone of his voice. I was stunned.

Chris carries a presence, a compelling, quiet confidence that draws you in. He lifts people with his words, leads with strength and encouragement. And he struggles with his voice? Does he even know what his voice does for others?

We all have insecurities. And truthfully, there are parts of myself I’ve spent years trying to outgrow, hide, or just flat-out deny. I talk fast when I’m nervous. I over-explain when I feel like I’m not being taken seriously. I replay conversations in my head for hours afterward, wondering if I said the wrong thing, or too much. I try too hard to sound “polished,” especially in rooms where I feel like I don’t fully belong. I’ve built a career on being composed, articulate, and put-together. But behind that, there’s a internal voice I’ve often questioned. A voice that’s sometimes too emotional, too blunt, too unsure. A voice that says “I don’t know” more often than I’d like.

And yet, that very phrase,“I don’t know,” changed everything for me once.

Shortly after I arrived in Atlanta, I said it out loud to a sales manager on my team. No fluff, no spin, no mask, just honesty. She looked at me and with a sigh of appreciation said, “Before you, I never heard anyone admit that here.”

That moment has never left me.

Because in all the ways I’ve tried to be “better,”more confident, more composed, more “leader-like, ” I’ve come to realize that what makes someone worth following isn’t perfection. Its presence. It’s honesty. It’s the courage to show the cracks. 

This blog reminded me: Leadership isn’t about hiding the parts we don’t love, it’s about facing, owning, and growing from them. 

If you’ve ever spent time with Chris, you know: we’re all grateful he found his voice.